


phones

by vagarius



Category: Free!, Haikyuu!!
Genre: "you accidentally added me to this group chat and i don't know how to take myself off" AU, Gen, Humor, Implied Relationships, for like 2 seconds, general hilarity that comes with Karasuno's (and Nagisa's) existence, hq second year first years, third years rin and them, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4748813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagarius/pseuds/vagarius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Your friends," Rin says in what he hopes is a calm tone, "Sure do pull a lot of stupid shit."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The boy – Yamaguchi – gulps, and appears to steel himself before speaking. "Well." Another gulp. "I could say the same about yours."</em>
</p>
<p>Alternatively: the curse of similar phone numbers and strange friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	phones

**Author's Note:**

> i saw the prompt and immediately thought "crossover" so here

Rin did not ask for this.

There are plenty of things he _has_ asked for – money to borrow, the bottom bunk, and to swim in a pool full of cherry blossoms, to name a few – but this.

This is _not fucking one of them_.

Maybe there's some sort of god, Rin thinks, who cursed him at some point during his short lifetime to be forever surrounded by freaks and idiots. Maybe this god decided that every time he thinks he's already surrounded, between his friends and his teammates and himself, for that matter, more appear in his vicinity. Maybe –

_Bzzz._

_I did not ask for this goddamn group chat,_ he tells himself as his phone vibrates in his pocket. Gritting his teeth, Rin reluctantly takes it out to look at the screen.

_From: XXX-XXX-XXXX_

_THERES A SCARY GUY IN THE BATHROOM HELP_

_From: XXX-XXX-XXXX_

_whats with you and scary guys in the bathroom_

_From: XXX-XXX-XXXX_

_SHUT UP BAKAGEYAMA_

 

Rin sighs. He feels bad for the guy, maybe. He's had his own share of bad bathroom encounters, though it's not like Rin can actually – _what is he thinking._

He definitely did not ask for this.

 

-

 

It's during practice one day that he gets the first text.

People don't text him much; when they do, it's usually Hinata with a homework question, or Yachi with a string of anxious typos, or his mom telling him that she's not going to be home and to _invite yourself over to Tsukki's, sweetie_. Tsukki doesn't use his phone much in general, except to listen to music, and Kageyama only texts Hinata, really. The old third years update minimally, most likely swamped in university work. All in all, Yamaguchi doesn't get that many texts.

So when he checks his phone during break, he doesn't expect to find multiple unread messages, all from unknown numbers, grouped together in a chat.

Yet here he is.

He looks at the latest message -

_From: XXX-XXX-XXXX_

_HARU-CHANS STRIPPING AGAIN AND MAKO-CHAN ISNT HERE WHAT DO I DO_

and promptly throws his phone back into his bag, eyes wide.

(When Tsukki asks him about it later, he tells him he just got a text from an unknown number with a problem, and that the problem is probably solved, by now. Yamaguchi confirms it later, curiously sweeping through the new group chat in his phone.)

 

-

 

He knows, objectively, the easiest way to get himself out of the group chat is to tell the people in the group chat that they've got the wrong number, and for whoever made it to remove him. But, in some weird way Rin can't explain, it feels like cheating, and a bit like giving in.

He checks his phone.

 

_From: Bathroom dude_

_THIS CAT LOOKS LIKE KUROO-SAN DOESN'T IT?!?!?!_

Following the text is a picture of a black cat with what looks like a bad case of bedhead. Rin wonders who is capable of having hair that bad to warrant being reminded of.

"Hey, Rin," Sousuke says suddenly from the top bunk, "Would you quit staring at your phone?"

"Ah, sorry," Rin replies. He didn't think he was checking his phone _that_ much.

"Who are you texting anyway? I would suggest a girl, but you're probably too busy banging Nanase."

"I am not banging Haru!" Rin screeches, and in a quieter voice, adds, "He's with Makoto, you know."

"Doesn't mean you can't be banging Nanase." Rin glares, and Sousuke laughs. "Okay, okay, let me amend that. You're probably too busy _thinking_ about banging Nanase for me to bother suggesting that you're texting a girl."

Rin tries to take a deep breath, but fails. " _I do not want to have sex with Haru."_

"So is it a girl?"

"...No, it's not a girl."

Rin turns away, and Sousuke proceeds to snatch the phone out of Rin's hands.

 

-

 

Yamaguchi tries to get out of the chat, _he really does,_ but the universe hates him, apparently, or has a bad sense of humor. Maybe both. Yamaguchi can firmly say that he strongly dislikes the universe and it's probable bad sense of humor, at least for the moment, as he stares at yet another text that failed to send.

"Seriously," Yamaguchi mutters, before putting his phone facedown on the bed.

Tsukki opens his eyes from where he's lying down next to Yamaguchi, headphones sitting on his chest as he fiddles with them. "Yamaguchi," he says, like a monotone warning, "What was that about?"

Yamaguchi shifts in his place, looking away ever so slightly, and mumbling, "Just, uh, wrong number stuff."

"Again?" Tsukki questions with a raise of his eyebrows. It would look endearing, probably, if Yamaguchi wasn't so uncomfortable.

"Uh, yeah."

A huff. "I'm taking your phone."

"Wait, what – " Yamaguchi flails, though it does nothing to stop Tsukki's advance towards the device. "Tsukki! It's none of your business!"

Tsukki scrolls through the phone – _why did I give him the passcode,_ Yamaguchi thinks – and chuckles. "It's none of _your_ business either, evidently." He wrinkles his nose, reading more of Yamaguchi's messages. "What the heck," he whispers, dumfounded, "These people are weirder than the freak duo. I didn't think that was possible."

Yamaguchi lets out a chuckle of his own, reading the latest message.

 

_From: XXX-XXX-XXXX_

_Haruka-senpai always looks so beautiful in the water! I was wondering if he shaves to reduce water resistance._

Him and Tsukki go silent. _Why me._

 

-

 

"I wasn't expecting it to be a girl," Sousuke states, "But I wasn't expecting some weird-ass group chat, either."

Rin's probably pouting at this point, and doesn't bother trying to get a hold of his phone, not anymore.

" _Lets invite Nekoma!!!"_ Sousuke reads, " _They're in Tokyo, dumbass. That's way too far."_ He snorts at the screen, and then looks up at Rin. "What are these contact names supposed to be, anyway? _Bathroom dude?_ _Bakageyama?_ The only normal name in this chat is Yachi. Do you even know these people?"

Rin smiles sheepishly. "They're volleyball players? And it was a choice between bathroom dude and dumbass, okay, because these people never mention anyone's actual name."

A pause. "Did you bother telling them that they have the wrong number?"

Rin expression seems to be answer enough, because Sousuke clicks his tongue, then on a random number in the chat, and calls them.

By the time Rin processes what is happening, Sousuke has already handed him the phone, and before Rin can hang up or yell _why didn't you just text them,_ bathroom dude answers the call.

_"Hello?"_ he asks, _"Who is this?"_

"Um," Rin answers while staring holes into Sousuke's jacket, "I'm Rin."

_"But you sound like a guy?"_

Rin breathes out. "Because I am a guy." Another breath. "You put me into a group chat accidently."

_"Oooh, that must be Kageyama's fault."_ Some shuffling, and then, more scratchy and farther away, _"Kageyama! You put this Rin dude in our chat by accident! That's why Yamaguchi hasn't been answering!"_

_"Isn't Rin a girl's name?"_

"Oh my god," Rin mutters, "Why me."

There's more shuffling along with a few muffled shouts, before the noise suddenly stops, as if the person on the line took a step outside. It's a new voice that's speaks over the line; a friend of bathroom dude, probably, who asks Rin, _"By any chance do you have a friend named Haru-chan that strips?"_

"Oh my _god_ ," Rin repeats, his voice somewhere between exasperated and scandalized. "I can't _believe_ I actually have to answer _yes_ to that. Oh my god. I hate my friends." Sousuke gives Rin an amused look that he valiantly ignores. "Scratch that, I hate _Nagisa,_ there's no one else who would phrase it like that... I... _Oh my god._ "

_"Er, uh,"_ the voice over the line interrupts, like Rin might have forgotten he was there (which, to be fair, he did, but _seriously what even_ ), _"Could you tell them to take me out of their group chat? None of my messages would send."_

Rin takes a few somewhat-calming breaths before replying. "Yeah, sure. I'll tell them." _I'll tell them off, too._

_"Thanks."_ The voice sounds relieved more than anything. _Just what did those idiots talk about? "I, uh, have to go, so, bye?"_

Rin blinks. "Yeah. Bye."

He lowers the phone from his ear. Sousuke looks at him, expectant.

"I think." A pause. "I think I know why Nagisa was yelling about me missing plans, the other day."

Sousuke laughs.

 

-

 

Yamaguchi is removed from the group chat, eventually, but not before he's sent a text saying _let's all meet up!_ ,followed by too many unnecessary emojis, and another text saying _that includes you and your friends, wrong number-chan!_ that sounds creepily like Oikawa. He accepts, wonders why it's now of all times that the message sends, and figures that's that.

Evidently, that is not that.

Later, that same day, after he finishes informing his friends of their future meeting plans, he gets yet another text.

 

_From: XXX-XXX-XXXX_

_yo. it's rin. from the group chat. can we meet up sometime, without your friends?_

Yamaguchi blinks at the screen blankly.

_Um,_ he types, so very eloquent, _sure, why not._

 

-

 

"Fucking..." Rin hisses to no one, kicking a pebble outside of a tiny ramen shop.

People pass him by without a second glance, and Rin isn't sure if that makes him more or less irritated. He's been waiting for 40 minutes, now, for this random kid whose identity consists of _volleyball player, probably,_ and Rin is fine with waiting, really, but Momtarou was being incredibly annoying today and Sousuke was stuck in the room with a cold and he was just about ready to storm into the ramen shop by himself, _patience be damned,_ when he spots a head of brown hair hightailing it towards him.

The person stops right in front of Rin, out of breath, yet somehow streaming out apologies.

"Breathe," Rin tells him, mildly concerned, though his irritation must show, because the figure immediately straightens, and Rin is dismayed to find that he is at least two centimeters taller.

Two-centimeters-taller takes a deep breath, just for his words to nearly tumble out of his mouth and onto the pavement. "I'm sorry I'm late my friends were fighting over who could eat a pork bun faster but then my other friend made a rude comment and they both started choking and both of us started snickering but then Captain made me break it up because I'm apparently the most level headed after Yachi who wasn't there at the moment and yeah. Sorry. I'm Yamaguchi, by the way."

Rin looks on in amazement, for a moment, before his former irritation surges forward like a wave, unbidden. "Your friends," Rin says in what he hopes is a calm tone, "Sure do pull a lot of stupid shit."

The boy – Yamaguchi – gulps, and appears to steel himself before speaking. "Well." Another gulp. "I could say the same about yours. Though I have to agree with your statement. About my. Team pulling stupid shit."

Rin didn't know people could curse objectively, but, well. Now he does.

"Um," Yamaguchi squeaks, "Shouldn't we go in?"

Rin blinks. "Oh, uh. Yeah."

They walk into the ramen shop.

 

 

-

 

He was expecting at least one other girl, in all seriousness. If he had realized that everyone else in the wrong number group chat was a guy, he wouldn't have insisted that Yachi come, too.

To be fair, they _did_ have girly names, and though some of those names were common unisex names, some of them were more common as girls' names (seriously _,_ what guy's name is _Haruka_ ). Combine that with the gratuitous lack of honorifics other than - _senpai_ and – _chan..._ honestly, what was Yamaguchi _supposed_ to think?

As he watches the group approach, he remembers Rin saying at their last meeting that he and his friends swam, and he can see it, maybe. He doesn't really know what swimmers look like, and it's not like he's all that interested in looks in the first place, but _hot damn._

There's Rin, of course, who's attractive in his own right – red hair, bright eyes, questionable smile. To his left stands a boy about the same height, lithe and pretty, and on his other side is someone who's probably a few centimeters taller than Kageyama, with a soft smile and shoulders to die for. Two people lag behind the others, one who reminds Yamaguchi a bit of Hinata but not quite, and one who looks more fit for land than water, really, but Yamaguchi decides not to comment.

Hinata, decidedly, does. "Uwoh! Are you guys really all swimmers? You don't look like swimmers."

"Um, sorry?" The tallest one comments – most likely Makoto, if Yamaguchi remembers right – "I guess not many people know what swimmers look like, though..."

"Most swimmers look like Haruka-senpai and Rin-san, do they not? At least, that's what I've gathered at competitions and joint practices," adds one of the boys at the back of the group, with a thoughtful tone.

"But Rei-chan, shouldn't swimmers have powerful shoulders like Mako-chan and Sou-chan?" the person next to him pipes in.

"Um," Yamaguchi interrupts before the first boy can answer, mostly because _seriously this is going nowhere_ and partly because _I have Tsukki as a best friend I can afford to be rude,_ "Why don't we introduce ourselves." Everyone turns to him, and he takes an uncomfortable pause before speaking again. "So. Yeah. I'm Yamaguchi Tadashi. My friends can introduce themselves, hopefully."

Yamaguchi can _feel_ the leer before he hears it. "Are you sure? Those two idiots you call friends might not be able to."

"Tsukishima, you jerk! I can totally introduce myself!" Hinata exclaims with a growl. Tsukishima sneers at him, and before he can retort, Kageyama finally decides to speak.

"Dumbass, just introduce yourself and prove him wrong." Kageyama scowls a little harder than usual, and Yamaguchi is glad that none of the swimmers are backing away. "I'm Kageyama. The dumbass is Hinata."

Hinata's steaming, probably, when he yells, "You can't tell me that I need to introduce myself then do it for me!"

"Hinata..." Yachi mutters, and her presence is finally acknowledged by the others. "I'm, er, it's Yachi. Yachi Hitoka." she chirps, then dares to hide behind Tsukki. Tsukki watches, only slightly annoyed.

"Tsukishima," he says in a chilly monotone.

The blond boy bounces up at the end of their introductions, presumably to start his own, but most-likely-Makoto is telling him that they can introduce themselves just fine, until Rin cuts in.

"Yo. I'm Rin," he says, pointing at himself and the others in turn. "That's Haru, Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei. Nice to meet you, I guess."

_That worked,_ Yamaguchi thinks, immediately taking the thought back as Tsukki opens his mouth to jab, "Don't you guys have last names? Or are they even weirder than your first?"

Before anyone can blow up, Yamaguchi steps in, announcing, "Let's go get lunch!" in a frantic tone.

And that's that (hopefully).

 

-

 

Bonus (or: that is not that 2.0):

 

"How," Rin hears Tsukishima mumble, sounding disgusted. "How is there another person that eats that much?"

Said person flops over the table and into Tsukishima's personal space. There's a vein popping out of Tsukishima's forehead. "Hey, Tsukki-chan," Nagisa says, and the vein pops out even more, "Do you think I could sit on your shoulders some time? You're even taller than Mako-chan, and I want to know what it looks like from all the way up there."

_Does he have a death wish,_ he hears Hinata whisper rather loudly, loud enough for Nagisa to hear, who predictably ignores the indirect warning.

"Absolutely not," Tsukishima responds, with a pointed glare.

_He really is a jerk,_ Rin thinks somewhere in the back of his mind, _I've never seen someone say no to Nagisa before._

**Author's Note:**

> this was very self-indulgent deal with it (also im writing emotional angsty stuff to post next have fun while you can)


End file.
